Dark Shadows is a Fail!
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp collaborate once again on Dark Shadows, a film that we were really kind of excited to see, with an all star cast and seemingly a fun and entertaining plot, and yet the film falls flat on its face.

The film revolves around Barnabus Collins (played by Depp) who, in the 18th century, breaks the heart of a witch, Angelique Bouchard, who kills his parents, curses his family including all his lovers (the last being Josette) leaping to their deaths from a nearby cliff and finally turns Barnabas into a vampire and buries him alive in a chained-coffin in the woods. 200 years later in 1972, Barnabas is accidentally freed from his coffin by a group of construction workers, sucks them dry of their blood and makes his way back to Collinwood Manor where he finds his once-magnificent mansion in ruin.
Eva Green plays a Witch with a serious Crush on Barnabas, she's hot though the movie isn't.

The manor is currently occupied by Barnabas' dysfunctional descendants. Barnabas decides to restore his family name, but when Angelique discovers that he has escaped his shallow grave she plots revenge and tries to win him back.

The first act of the film is extremely drawn out, as it revolves around introducing us to Barnabas in the 18th century, then reintroducing him into the 1972 alongside his relatives.

Bella Heathcote is Johnny Depp's other Love interest
Now this wouldn't be a bad thing, as it really draws on how dysfunctional this family really is. However, where it does fail tremendously is that in. This first hour of the film, the film seems to be going nowhere at all.

You would assume that Barnabas restoring his family to their former glories would be the crux of the story, yet that aspect of the film is achieved in a 5-minute montage.

The visual style of the film is quite extraordinary as is all Burton films, but the film suffers with jumbled up storyline that can't be saved by a quirky, enchanting Johnny Depp performance.

The rest of the cast in the film has completely nothing to do, except just stand by as we suffer through this 2 hour fate of our lives getting wasted away.

The film looks to be fun, and entertaining and there are some parts that will draw out a laugh. But, it never gets too hilariously funny, and it doesn’t do enough to keep you entertained through out the film, you will be looking at your watch wondering when will it end. The film also leans itself to a dark horror, but never far enough to be scary.

Johnny Depp with those slinky long fingers
However the film really suffers in its climax, with one final battle between the witch (played by Eva Green) and Barnabas. A whole lot of things happen that we're suppose to have a certain element of surprise and shock, but you never quite feel it because of the lack of build up to these moments throughout the film.
It just suddenly comes out of nowhere in this last battle, with no hints in the story or not enough character development on some of the characters for this animated battle to really be justified.

This film is meant to be fun and entertaining, but we can guarantee that most people will come out of this film, thinking WTF did I just watch?!

We really expected more from Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, with Chloe Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jackie Earl Haley, Eva Green, and Helen Bonham Carter, they all give good performances, however with a plot that goes 9 different directions, and manages to culminate into 27th scenario that know one saw coming, Dark Shadows fails to find charm, behind it's big mess.

Our Rating


  1. Definitely had some moments of pure fun and originality, but when it comes right down to it, you can't get past the fact that this story is just a little too serious with Burton's approach. Depp is once again, fun in this role but he can only do so much to elevate it. Nice review.

    1. Thanks Man and Nicely Put!!! We expected the film to be a lot more fun then it was, we expected more!!


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